Hola Folk nice to get back here again
For the month of Apr 2015 had one goal: Stop Complaining.
Lets start with a very small story here :
Yeah its what most of us do in general life, But it was not exactly i gonna discuss here. Just read a book of Jon Gordon and what i get from that is really great and thought to share with my friends , because i believe a good surrounding creates synergistic effects. The goal of this article is how we creating a more positive life by eliminating negative statements. There’s no secret sauce,Simply stop complaining.But is it that easy? What’s so bad about complaining, anyway?
Now Let me Tell you….Griping comes naturally for us. During an average conversation, we lob complaints at each other about once a minute, according to research.( LOL I realized I do more than what research results telling :P ) There’s a social reason for that. Nothing unites people more strongly than a common dislike. The easiest way to build friendship and communicate is through something negative. Now just recoil your mental archives and see how you get along with a person by criticizing a common source ( animate or Inanimate, it doesn't matter).
Also, evolution primes us to focus on the negative for self-defense. The more we look at something that can hurt us and kill us, we are programmed to be on guard against that.
NOTHING UNITES PEOPLE MORE STRONGLY THAN A COMMON DISLIKE
Well one can take this as if you are trying to get along a girl/boy this may help. ( though its not about how to get the Girl/Boy kind of trick :P). But all of that whining comes with a cost. When we complain, our brains release stress hormones that harm neural connections in areas used for problem solving and other cognitive functions. This also happens when we listen to someone else moan and groan. It’s as bad as “second-hand smoke. It’s second-hand complaining.
Swearing off something that comes naturally to us seems like a setup for failure. Indeed things you do habitually are really hard to give up, have you ever tried to eliminate the ‘you knows’ and ‘uh-huhs’ from your speech? It is extremely difficult. And sometimes we absolutely need to vent. It feels good, doesn’t it? One study showed that bottling emotions could shorten your life by an average of two years.
The good news is there can be middle ground between going cold turkey and being a Negative Nancy (girls, Nancy is just an example :p ). If you’re serious about complaining less, here are some realistic tips for success.
1. START BY DEFINING WHAT A COMPLAINT IS
If you point out that it’s cold outside, is that a complaint? No, that’s an observation. A complaint is, ‘It’s cold outside and I hate living in this place. I defines a complaint by the way it makes me feel: I feel myself slouching and not breathing.
2. TRACK HOW OFTEN YOU COMPLAIN AND WHAT ABOUT
Change starts with awareness. You will be absolutely shocked. After two or three hours of observing, it’s in the hundreds.
3. STOP CRIBBING
Separate yourself from chronic complainer. If you must lend an ear, try to respond with something positive rather than joining in on the rant session. You’ve really gotta be quite brave and confident and have the courage not to need the good opinion of another person. You find over a period of time those people who complain constantly start to leave you alone because their brains are not getting that stimulus they’re looking for. So stop Cribbing.
4. TURN COMPLAINTS INTO SOLUTIONS
This is called positive complaining or effective complaining. Don’t sit around and admire the problem. Do something about it. And believe me it helps a lot.
5. USE THE "BUT-POSITIVE" TECHNIQUE
If you find yourself griping, add a ‘but’ and say something positive. For example, "I don’t like driving to work, but I’m thankful at least I can drive and I even have a job. I know its crap example but atleast am able to explain my thoughts here to you.
6. CHANGE "HAVE TO" TO "GET TO"
I have to pick up the kids becomes I get to pick up the kids. You change a complaining voice to an appreciative heart, You’re gonna feel so much better the more you focus on the positive over time. At first, it's gonna be a little awkward, but the more you get used to it, it becomes your natural state.
For the month of Apr 2015 had one goal: Stop Complaining.
Lets start with a very small story here :
Yeah its what most of us do in general life, But it was not exactly i gonna discuss here. Just read a book of Jon Gordon and what i get from that is really great and thought to share with my friends , because i believe a good surrounding creates synergistic effects. The goal of this article is how we creating a more positive life by eliminating negative statements. There’s no secret sauce,Simply stop complaining.But is it that easy? What’s so bad about complaining, anyway?
Also, evolution primes us to focus on the negative for self-defense. The more we look at something that can hurt us and kill us, we are programmed to be on guard against that.
NOTHING UNITES PEOPLE MORE STRONGLY THAN A COMMON DISLIKE
Well one can take this as if you are trying to get along a girl/boy this may help. ( though its not about how to get the Girl/Boy kind of trick :P). But all of that whining comes with a cost. When we complain, our brains release stress hormones that harm neural connections in areas used for problem solving and other cognitive functions. This also happens when we listen to someone else moan and groan. It’s as bad as “second-hand smoke. It’s second-hand complaining.
Swearing off something that comes naturally to us seems like a setup for failure. Indeed things you do habitually are really hard to give up, have you ever tried to eliminate the ‘you knows’ and ‘uh-huhs’ from your speech? It is extremely difficult. And sometimes we absolutely need to vent. It feels good, doesn’t it? One study showed that bottling emotions could shorten your life by an average of two years.
The good news is there can be middle ground between going cold turkey and being a Negative Nancy (girls, Nancy is just an example :p ). If you’re serious about complaining less, here are some realistic tips for success.
1. START BY DEFINING WHAT A COMPLAINT IS
If you point out that it’s cold outside, is that a complaint? No, that’s an observation. A complaint is, ‘It’s cold outside and I hate living in this place. I defines a complaint by the way it makes me feel: I feel myself slouching and not breathing.
2. TRACK HOW OFTEN YOU COMPLAIN AND WHAT ABOUT
Change starts with awareness. You will be absolutely shocked. After two or three hours of observing, it’s in the hundreds.
3. STOP CRIBBING
Separate yourself from chronic complainer. If you must lend an ear, try to respond with something positive rather than joining in on the rant session. You’ve really gotta be quite brave and confident and have the courage not to need the good opinion of another person. You find over a period of time those people who complain constantly start to leave you alone because their brains are not getting that stimulus they’re looking for. So stop Cribbing.
4. TURN COMPLAINTS INTO SOLUTIONS
This is called positive complaining or effective complaining. Don’t sit around and admire the problem. Do something about it. And believe me it helps a lot.
5. USE THE "BUT-POSITIVE" TECHNIQUE
If you find yourself griping, add a ‘but’ and say something positive. For example, "I don’t like driving to work, but I’m thankful at least I can drive and I even have a job. I know its crap example but atleast am able to explain my thoughts here to you.
6. CHANGE "HAVE TO" TO "GET TO"
I have to pick up the kids becomes I get to pick up the kids. You change a complaining voice to an appreciative heart, You’re gonna feel so much better the more you focus on the positive over time. At first, it's gonna be a little awkward, but the more you get used to it, it becomes your natural state.
