I do always harbor a delusion that I’m a nice man. I feel everyone should have a good opinion if not an fulsome admiration for me. I’m not Mr Perfect but I’m not a bad entity either. If you aren’t necessarily bad, you are a good man. I love the people I come in contact, why can’t they be like me ? Why can’t they reciprocate in the similar vein. Why can’t I get along with every one ? Many people hate me, contradict me and ignore me. One penny question - Am I alone with this complex ? Did I ever ask myself : why the people don’t care for me ?
A wise man has said, “When people say they do not care what others think of them, for the most part they deceive themselves. Generally they mean only that they will do as they choose, in the confidence that no one will know their vagaries; and at the utmost only that they are willing to act contrary to the opinion of the majorities because they are supported by the approval of their neighbors. It’s not difficult to be unconventional in the eyes of the world when your unconventionality is but the convention of your set.” It would give me little relief if I accept this theory.
However, everyone is EGOISTS in this world. The levels may be at variance. Everyone wants to be superior to next person he or she meets. We may hide these feelings in the most sophisticated manner, style and language but we all are hypocrites. We all are the victim of a strange complex which you may term as superiority or inferiority complex. These complexes are invisibly intertwined. Superiority Complex is the acute form of Inferiority Complex.
We all need friends and we have two type of friends. A friend who tells point blank that I’m a loser. I may not like this friend. No one ever likes him anyway. And we have the other kind of friend who will always tell me that I’m a great guy. He lies but still he is the best friend ? It is socially acceptable to offer mild false praise. Its symbolic of mediocrity. We all want to be honest but we end up doing the opposite. Honesty is the best policy but the deliverance of this policy is also an art. Advice delivered in a caustic manner doesn‘t go far. We can't see our shortcomings ourselves. That’s why it is necessary to surround ourselves with people who will tell us the truth about us - even when we don't want to hear it. Still we let down the same best friends and they let down us at times.
Let us realize that human nature is prone to egoism. We do always want to receive. We feel ‘giving up‘ could be a virtue and ‘giving in’ is defeat. The law of nature is quite contrary to that. It is based upon altruism. The essential force which binds us is love. The whole balance of existence is based on giving in. The whole flora and fauna give in for us. The ecosystem of the universe revolves around giving in. As Paulo Coelho of “The Achemist’ has said - The whole universe conspires for us when we move forward. The separate objects which surround us work together just like organs within our body. Everything in nature functions that way except for the inner life of an individual that’s me.
I love to receive as much as possible to satisfy myself and I care two hoots about giving the least amount of effort to anyone. I always end up being at the expense of others. Our most outwardly kind and generous acts are done only with the intention of self-gratification. Is it our fault ? Aren’t we were built this way ? Hate, avarice and greed are integral part of our nature. How to mold these negative instincts into a positive energy ? Can’t we just turn around our egoistic nature in a way that allows us to rise above it. Religion and not the science has the solution for this dilemma. “Love our Neighbor as our self – Love others exactly as you love yourself! – Putting their interests before anything else – just like you do with your own self interest now.”
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